Big Feelings
I had the opportunity to go to school the other day. Well, I just use ‘school’ as a metaphor
because it wasn’t formal education, but rather a chance to spend time taking
care of my two youngest grandchildren for a morning. I always learn something when I am with
them. Many times, that includes a
reminder that my old body doesn’t keep up well with an almost four and an
almost two-year-old. But, even more
often, there is a wisdom in the innocence of children that I have learned to
try to pay attention to.
Now, I know that some readers about now are thinking
that your grandchildren are actually the wisest grandchildren in the
world. You’re probably correct. But it’s also true that our awareness only
extends as far as our experience. I try
to keep that in mind, because it’s not your fault that you haven’t met my
grandchildren.
We had spent the morning doing puzzles, reading books,
using a toy front end loader to load up half of the topsoil from a planter that
was still awaiting flowers, filling up the toy dump truck and then hauling it
ten feet away where we were constructing a dirt pile. The project was going well – on budget and
ahead of schedule! We moved to the swing
set in the back yard and got some trips down the slide in.
Lunch time finally came. I appreciated the opportunity to go inside and
sit in a real chair. I find the ground
to be especially low these days, and hard.
Funny, I seem to recall when the ground was much higher and much more
fun to roll around on.
We were crowding Danny’s (the younger one’s) nap
time. Although he looked a bit droopy,
it was Molly, the almost four-year-old, who was looking worse for wear. Suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, she let out
a wail. “What’s wrong, honey?” “My tummy hurts!” came the reply. I had noticed that the siren blast was
proceeded by a couple of minutes of poking at some noodles that she had asked
for but now obviously lost interest in. Molly
was excused from the table, and after a quick dab of her face with a damp wash
cloth, known to Molly as ‘washing up’, she immediately set about playing. Hmm, that was a miraculous recovery.
My suspicions were affirmed when Molly returned to the
kitchen and asked if she could have a cookie.
“Perhaps we should let your tummy rest.
Then, if you finish your lunch, you can have a cookie.” Wail number two shook the walls!
Danny, who will be two in a couple of weeks looked at
his sister in her great and sudden distress.
He looked legitimately sad for her.
He turned to me, “Molly has big feelings.” While I was busy determining the cause and
solution; in my mind I admit that it was more like crime and punishment, it was
little Danny who got to the bottom of the issue. Molly had big feelings.
It occurred to me that during my life, especially as a
father and a professional in the business world, that when people came to me
with big feelings I probably wasted too much time trying to convince them that
the situation was actually quite small and it required only small feelings and quick
solutions. None of that really worked. When someone has big feelings, what they
really need is a hug and a sympathetic pat on the back. It’s OK to just be quiet, and let that quiet
eventually absorb the moment. And if you’re
a grandparent, you may top it off with a cookie.
Lesson learned.
His Peace <><
Deacon Dan
Photo by cheese_capture on Unsplash
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