Box Tops & Postage

 

Box Tops & Postage

When I was a boy the best deals were free.  It seemed that almost weekly the makers of products that appealed to kids, like breakfast cereal, offered free toys to anyone who was interested.  And what kid wouldn’t be interested in free toys?  Well, while there was no price tag on the actual toy, the catch, and with marketing there is always a catch, was that you had to send in box tops of their product and money to cover the cost of shipping. 

Box tops obviously, could only be obtained by buying the product in the first place.  Clever.  My brother Mike and I were usually so anxious to get our “free” toy that we tore the top off of the cardboard cereal boxes well before the contents had been consumed.  As far as postage was concerned, I suspect that was actually a money-maker for the company as well.  Postage stamps cost less than a dime, unless you wanted to pay two cents extra to send your letter airmail.  I seem to recall that most often we had to include a quarter for postage.  But, of course, there was the value of toy to consider.  I remember two of our free toys vividly.

The first was an actual submarine that we were promised would propel itself through the water.  I remember our excitement when our package arrived.  I don’t know about Mike, but I was so excited that it never occurred to me while we were cutting it open that the plain brown cardboard box was pretty small.  While it was a little small to be part of the actual 7th Fleet, the little gray plastic boat did indeed look like the submarines we had seen on television. 

We ran upstairs where the bath tub was and began filling it up while we read the directions.  The sub came with its own fuel – they were little white tablets that looked like aspirins.  We dropped two tablets into the hole in the back by the propeller that was part of the molded body.  The fact that the propeller could in no way actually spin should have been a clue.  It wasn’t. 

Although we didn’t understand why, the directions said that we should pour a teaspoon of vinegar down the smokestack.  As we did that, white foam started oozing both out the back and from the top of the sub.  “Put it in the water!”  Mike dropped the sub in water.  It immediately rolled over on its side and floated there like a dead goldfish; the foam oozed out for a few more seconds and then stopped.  We pushed the sub under the water.  It popped right back up to the surface.  Because it was hollow, it held trapped air.  We had a submarine that wouldn’t sub.  And because it was top heavy it wouldn’t sit upright either; it immediately laid on its side as soon as we let go of it.  Growing skeptical, but undefeated, we tried two more of the fuel tablets and another spoonful of vinegar.  The sub just laid there oozing out the white foam.  Even if the foam made the sub spin on its side we maybe would have been a little satisfied, but it just lay still until the oozing stopped.  Ten minutes from its commissioning, the sub was placed in eternal drydock.

Our second free toy experience was twonot one, but two blow-up plastic beach toys that were shaped like dolphins.  Our box arrived the day before we were to leave on a camping trip – perfect timing.  Our father thought it would be best just to leave the box unopened until we got up north.  Needless to say, that Mike and I started bugging our parents about going swimming about one minute after we had camp set up.  They gave in.  We quickly changed into swimsuits, grabbed our towels, and the box with our inflatable dolphins and ran down to the swimming beach.

I will admit that the inflatable dolphins looked the part.  And they weren’t skimpy – they were almost as tall as us.  As we blew air into them they began to take shape.  And the shape they took was of a graceful dolphin, curved as if leaping from the foamy ocean – cool!  We finished blowing them up and ran into the water.  When we got about waist-deep we each tried to ride our dolphin.  Here’s where they began to resemble our submarine.  Because of their curved shape, they would only lay on their side.  And even though they were probably bigger than we expected, they really weren’t big enough to “ride”.  Worse yet, there was a seam all around the dolphins where the two sides came together that was quite uncomfortable – even mildly painful.  It took us about one minute to grow disenchanted with them, and we deposited them back on the beach next to our towels. 

This weekend I had the privilege of baptizing two children from the same family.  This is one of my favorite things to be able to do as an ordained deacon.  The sacrament is a welcoming into God’s family and an invitation for them to experience more and more of God’s love as the baptized grow closer and closer to Jesus throughout their lives.  And it is absolutely free – no box tops, no postage.  The only cost is saying “yes” to receiving God’s grace, mercy and love that He so wants to give us.  Now, that’s a deal!

His Peace <><

Deacon Dan            

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